{"id":25850,"date":"2018-06-15T12:14:15","date_gmt":"2018-06-15T12:14:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/news.microsoft.com\/?p=408705"},"modified":"2018-06-15T12:14:15","modified_gmt":"2018-06-15T12:14:15","slug":"profiles-in-pride-michelle-chens-journey-to-live-more-freely-in-her-own-skin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/2018\/06\/15\/profiles-in-pride-michelle-chens-journey-to-live-more-freely-in-her-own-skin\/","title":{"rendered":"Profiles in Pride: Michelle Chen\u2019s journey to live more freely in her own skin"},"content":{"rendered":"

Surrounded for the first time by a supportive culture and a community of LGBTQ+ friends, this software engineer is unlocking the key to self-acceptance<\/h3>\n

By Candace Whitney-Morris<\/p>\n

Michelle Chen knew she was gay long before she came out. Growing up, she found it hard enough to admit to herself, let alone to say it out loud for others.<\/p>\n

In high school, people would tease her with questions like, \u201cAre you sure you\u2019re straight?\u201d Ever since grade school when she had to defend her choice to wear \u201cboy\u2019s\u201d clothes and keep her hair short, she had to be quick on her toes, ready with reassurances. She\u2019d reply, \u201cOh yeah, I\u2019m straight! I have a crush on so-and-so. Don\u2019t worry.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chen wasn\u2019t ready to come out in high school, and the small town she grew up in wasn\u2019t ready for her to come out, either. Neither were her traditional, Chinese parents.<\/p>\n

\u201cAny sexuality that isn\u2019t straight is not accepted at all,\u201d Chen explained of her family\u2019s beliefs. \u201cYou have to conform to what everyone else looks like. You have to find a husband, have kids. That\u2019s just your purpose.<\/p>\n

\u201cEven my parents believed that female children were lesser than male children. Navigating that space was really difficult for me growing up, because not only were they like, \u2018Oh you have to have kids,\u2019 but they were like, \u2018You have to marry a Chinese man.’\u201d<\/p>\n

Chen decided to take her time before telling them that she was gay; she\u2019d move away and get a job first.<\/p>\n

In the meantime, the hiding was taking its toll: deep down Chen grew full of self-loathing, hating that she couldn\u2019t conform to people\u2019s expectations and suspicious that something was wrong with her.<\/p>\n

The first taste of self-acceptance came during college where she met and befriended other lesbians. One summer, she traveled to New York City and experienced her first Pride parade.<\/p>\n

\u201cI saw everyone dressed however they wanted to dress; no one felt ashamed of anything,\u201d she said. \u201cI knew right then that I wanted to live my life this way, that I wanted to be as happy as these people.\u201d<\/p>\n

A fellow college student encouraged Chen to think about interning at Microsoft and then referred her and helped coach her through the interview process. The same year that Chen decided to come out, she got the internship and headed to Seattle for the summer.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was so excited, partly because I knew Seattle was super gay,\u201d she said, laughing. She hoped that meant she could live more out in the open.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I came to Microsoft, I felt like I had found my place,\u201d she said. Right away, Chen joined GLEAM, the LGBTQ+ employee resource group at Microsoft that, among other things, provides mentorship to new interns who identify as LGBTQ+.<\/p>\n

She interned again the next summer, and now one year later, she works at Microsoft as a software engineer. Although Chen didn\u2019t originally know anyone in Seattle, she quickly made friends through GLEAM and in her neighborhood of Capitol Hill. \u201cNow, almost all my friends are queer, and I see most of them every day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cWhen I came to Microsoft, I felt like I had found my place.\u201d<\/h2>\n<\/blockquote>\n

The same year she started at Microsoft, she decided it was time to come out to her mother. As she dialed the phone, she gave herself a pep talk: \u201cOK, Michelle, now\u2019s the time. You are going to come out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chen\u2019s mom answered with, \u201cI heard you got a septum ring.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"MichelleTaken off guard, Chen said, \u201cWhat? Who told you that? How do you know these things?\u201d<\/p>\n

Her mom responded that she had her sources. \u201cThere are people in this town that tell me things.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chen was so frustrated that she just blurted out, \u201cOh, did they tell you I\u2019m gay, too?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWait, what?\u201d her mom said, shocked. It took a minute for the news to sink in.<\/p>\n

Chen recalled, laughing, \u201cI mean, it was kind of nice because it took the focus off the septum ring.\u201d<\/p>\n

But then her mother said something Chen will never forget: \u201cOh, no, no, no. You should change. I can\u2019t believe it. This must\u2019ve been something I did wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n

Although Chen was not expecting an approving response, \u201cit was still pretty shocking to hear from my own mother,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

It has been a few months since that phone call, and while Chen and her mother maintain contact, she told her mom that she can\u2019t visit her in Seattle until she\u2019s comfortable with her daughter\u2019s sexual orientation.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not something I can just sweep under the rug anymore,\u201d she said. \u201cI\u2019d rather be happy than hide my true self.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chen doesn\u2019t regret waiting to tell her parents, and she hopes to encourage others to take their time.<\/p>\n

\u201cI had to get outside of my small town and see that being LGBTQ+ is not a bad thing. It\u2019s not shameful. There\u2019s nothing wrong with dressing the way that you want to dress.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s nothing wrong with who you are.\u201d<\/p>\n

Meet more Microsoft employees who are changing hearts and minds and advancing human rights.
https:\/\/news.microsoft.com\/life\/topic\/pride\/<\/a><\/h4>\n

See how Microsoft is celebrating Pride 2018 and how you can be an ally.
https:\/\/www.microsoft.com\/pride\/<\/a><\/h4>\n

Learn how Microsoft and its LGBTQ+ employees push for change across borders.
https:\/\/news.microsoft.com\/life\/pride\/<\/a><\/h4>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Surrounded for the first time by a supportive culture and a community of LGBTQ+ friends, this software engineer is unlocking the key to self-acceptance By Candace Whitney-Morris Michelle Chen knew she was gay long before she came out. Growing up, she found it hard enough to admit to herself, let alone to say it out […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":25851,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[49],"tags":[58,50],"class_list":["post-25850","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-microsoft-news","tag-diversity","tag-recent-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25850","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25850"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25850\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/25851"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25850"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25850"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25850"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}