{"id":135498,"date":"2026-01-01T14:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-01-01T14:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.nintendolife.com\/#article-192972"},"modified":"2026-01-01T14:00:00","modified_gmt":"2026-01-01T14:00:00","slug":"back-page-i-was-the-louvre-heist-thief-but-i-was-just-trying-to-steal-their-3dses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/2026\/01\/01\/back-page-i-was-the-louvre-heist-thief-but-i-was-just-trying-to-steal-their-3dses\/","title":{"rendered":"Back Page: I Was The Louvre Heist Thief, But I Was Just Trying To Steal Their 3DSes"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"Iwata<\/a>
<\/span> Image: Nintendo<\/a><\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Over the holiday season, we’re republishing some of the best articles from Nintendo Life writers and contributors from<\/em> 2025<\/a><\/em>. This article was originally published in October. Enjoy!<\/em><\/p>\n

In the magazine business, the back page is where you’d find all the weird goofs that we couldn’t fit in anywhere else. Some may call it “filler”; we prefer “a whole page to make terrible jokes that are tangentially related to the content of the mag”.<\/em><\/p>\n

We don’t have pages on the internet, but we still love terrible jokes \u2014 so welcome to our semi-regular feature, Back Page<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

Today, Kate is confessing to a crime. But let’s be perfectly, legally clear here, just in case: this is a joke, and Kate is not, in fact, the Louvre thief. Hopefully that’s clear.<\/em><\/p>\n

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Okay, so, look, I wasn’t trying<\/em> to do a heist. This is all a big misunderstanding.<\/p>\n

See, the Louvre is mostly known for its paintings, statues, stealing art from other countries, and being hard to pronounce for anyone who doesn’t have a French tongue. (Loov. Looooov-ruh. Loovuhrrr. Loovurhrh.<\/em> Never mind.) Also, that one really famous, wildly underwhelming picture of the lady with the mystic smile.<\/p>\n

But that’s not what I care about when it comes to the Louvre. The Parisian pyramid is the only museum in the world that used 3DSes as their audio guides<\/a>, and I’ve never had the chance to try them! And then, tragically, when the museum discontinued them earlier this year<\/a>, I thought to myself, ‘Well, what are they going to do with all those 3DSes? Put them into the archive, like all the rejected paintings that don’t draw a big enough crowd? I won’t stand for it.’<\/p>\n

\"Louvre<\/a>
I was going to nab a copy of the game, too \u2014 <\/span> Image: Nintendo<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

So, I went to visit the museum. Just a normal visit, you understand! And yes, I went in through a first-floor window via a ladder, but that wasn’t because I was planning to steal things! I just wanted to beat the crowds. And avoid the entry cost. I mean, \u20ac25 to walk very slowly through a crowd taking selfies with the Mona Lisa? That’s the real robbery here.<\/p>\n

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\u20ac25 to walk very slowly through a crowd taking selfies with the Mona Lisa? That’s the real robbery here.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

It was fully my intention to walk over to the information desk, politely ask about the 3DSes, and whether a caring patron of the arts such as myself could make a donation to the museum in order to take one home, and then once they’d handed me a big box of 3DSes, I would leave down my special museum ladder.<\/p>\n

But once I was in, well, the crown jewels were just sitting there<\/em>. I thought to myself, ‘You can buy a lot<\/em> of 3DSes with crown jewels money. Maybe you could even afford a single secondhand copy of Pok\u00e9mon HeartGold and SoulSilver<\/a> from CeX<\/a>!’<\/p>\n

Besides, I had a very capacious tote bag with me.<\/p>\n

It wasn’t until I was slowly trundling down the ladder back to the streets of Paris that I even realised that I’d done a heist, or that no sane person on eBay is going to buy obviously stolen<\/em> crown jewels.<\/p>\n

So, here I am, with no 3DSes and too many crown jewels, and people keep writing articles about how cool I am, despite the fact that crown jewels can’t play Hotel Dusk<\/a> or Kid Icarus: Uprising<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Look, I wrote up a comparison:<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
3DS<\/th>\nCrown Jewels<\/th>\n<\/tr>\n<\/thead>\n
\u2705 Comes in many colours<\/td>\n\u274c Comes in factory colours only<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\u2705 Take it anywhere<\/td>\n\u274c Can only be taken to state occasions or maybe a fancy party<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\u2705 Customisable home menu themes<\/td>\n\u274c No home menu themes<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\u2705 StreetPass!<\/td>\n\u274c No StreetPass<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\u2705 Playable in 2D and 3D<\/td>\n\u274c No 2D option<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\u2705 Can play cult classic Zero Escape: Virtue’s Last Reward<\/a><\/td>\n\u274c Cannot play cult classic Zero Escape: Virtue’s Last Reward<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

As you can see, the obvious winner is the 3DS. It’s not even close. And sure, the Crown Jewels make for some very nice hats, but I don’t even want<\/em> hats. I want to play Pullblox<\/a>, on a commuter train, with the option to make my eyes feel like they’re being peeled from the inside!<\/p>\n

Crown Jewels don’t even have expandable SD card storage, so even if I wanted<\/em> to take them to fancy parties or state occasions, I’d have to bring a separate external hard drive with me for all my games. Who wants to bring an external hard drive to a masquerade ball, or the coronation of the new monarch? Not me. It’s very unfashionable.<\/p>\n