{"id":100284,"date":"2019-09-16T18:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-09-16T18:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nintendolife.com\/reviews\/nintendo-switch\/gun_gun_pixies"},"modified":"2019-09-16T18:00:00","modified_gmt":"2019-09-16T18:00:00","slug":"review-gun-gun-pixies-a-pitiful-perv-fest-that-also-fails-as-a-video-game","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/2019\/09\/16\/review-gun-gun-pixies-a-pitiful-perv-fest-that-also-fails-as-a-video-game\/","title":{"rendered":"Review: Gun Gun Pixies &#8211; A Pitiful Perv-Fest That Also Fails As A Video Game"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"media_block\"><a href=\"http:\/\/images.nintendolife.com\/e7906e615929b\/large.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/images.nintendolife.com\/e7906e615929b\/small.jpg\" class=\"media_thumbnail\"><\/a><\/div>\n<div id>\n<aside class=\"picture embed\"><a title=\"Gun Gun Pixies Review - Screenshot 1 of 5\" href=\"http:\/\/images.nintendolife.com\/screenshots\/99225\/large.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/images.nintendolife.com\/screenshots\/99225\/900x.jpg\" alt=\"Gun Gun Pixies Review - Screenshot 1 of 5\"><\/a><\/aside>\n<p>Originally released for PS Vita in Japan back in 2017, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.nintendolife.com\/games\/nintendo-switch\/gun_gun_pixies\">Gun Gun Pixies<\/a><\/strong> tells the story of two intergalactic hornballs, Kame Pon and Bee Tan, otherwise known as Pixie Team, who are sent to earth on a secret mission to observe the interactions of a bunch of teenage girls living in a dormitory. Pixie Team\u2019s home planet Pandemo is in the midst of a great existential crisis, you see; society there has all but forgotten how to forge meaningful relationships and so it\u2019s up to these two military school dropouts to spend half a year observing how earth girls relate to one another and build friendships in order to save the very future of Pandemonians.<\/p>\n<p>Very generously billed as a third-person shooter, Gun Gun Pixies is, in reality, a simplistic and repetitive game aimed at people \u2013 and these people <em>must<\/em> exist because this game does \u2013 who enjoy roleplaying as tiny little sex pixies who sneak around dorm rooms on all-fours, exposing their asses and thongs at all times whilst they make heavy breathing noises and shoot \u201chappy bullets\u201d at the great big jiggling boobs and butts of teenage anime ladies. <em>Ahem<\/em>.<\/p>\n<aside class=\"picture embed\"><a title=\"Gun Gun Pixies Review - Screenshot 2 of 5\" href=\"http:\/\/images.nintendolife.com\/screenshots\/99224\/large.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/images.nintendolife.com\/screenshots\/99224\/900x.jpg\" alt=\"Gun Gun Pixies Review - Screenshot 2 of 5\"><\/a><\/aside>\n<p>In order to collect the information vital to the survival of their home planet, Bee Tan \u2013 who is in a constant state of intense sexual arousal \u2013 and Kame Pon \u2013 who is bored with Bee Tan\u2019s constant state of sexual arousal but is also herself <em>somewhat<\/em> sexually aroused \u2013 must climb around furniture in three different dorm rooms, using the scopes from their &#8220;happy guns&#8221; to search for hidden objects to further the \u201cstory\u201d and take up sniping positions from which to fire off volleys of &#8220;happy bullets&#8221; at their target\u2019s chests and crotches.<\/p>\n<p>The gameplay here breaks down into some very shoddy platforming, where a misbehaving camera and poor jumping controls combine to ensure you\u2019ll spend quite a lot of time trying to make it to points of interest around a room, and a lot of very tiresome, completely unchallenging shooting. You spend your entire time firing off endless barrages of bullets at big jiggly boobs and butts while trying to avoid large purple orbs, which emit from the target and represent her internal stresses \u2013 as well as fighting an army of tiny squids who wear condoms on their heads. Because <em>of course<\/em> they do.<\/p>\n<p>One of the key elements as you conduct your research in a girl\u2019s room is that you don\u2019t get caught because \u2013 as we\u2019re informed early on by gruff Pixie Team commander Almars \u2013 an intergalactic treaty has declared that alien races must not make themselves known to the inhabitants of planets they are visiting for fear of causing an <em>absolute scene<\/em>. Stealth is therefore thrown into the mix via a &#8220;Maiden Sensor&#8221; located at the top of your screen. The left-hand side of the sensor rises as you move around within a target\u2019s cone of vision, whilst the right-hand side fills as you make too much noise. Filling either side up completely means you\u2019ve been detected and the mission is failed. Missions can also be failed by getting hit too many times by purple orbs which, <em>obviously<\/em>, tear your clothes off bit by bit as they hit you until you are left entirely naked, which is <em>absolutely not<\/em> what people who want to play this game are interested in seeing happen. No sir. <em>Nope<\/em>.<\/p>\n<aside class=\"picture embed\"><a title=\"Gun Gun Pixies Review - Screenshot 3 of 5\" href=\"http:\/\/images.nintendolife.com\/screenshots\/99219\/large.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/images.nintendolife.com\/screenshots\/99219\/900x.jpg\" alt=\"Gun Gun Pixies Review - Screenshot 3 of 5\"><\/a><\/aside>\n<p>In order to combat being seen you can pull off a number of Pixie Poses, stuff like bending over with your ass out, rubbing your boobs together and pouting or squatting like you\u2019re about to do a tiny space poo; the humans will then presumably assume you\u2019re a toy figure and leave you alone. Minimising sound comes down to simply crawling around instead of walking, and this is a <em>very important<\/em> mechanic in Gun Gun Pixies because as you crawl around your tiny skirt will hitch itself up in such a way that your jiggling rear-end and thong are constantly on show.<\/p>\n<p>As well as minimising sound and staying out of view of your target girl, you can also utilise a technique known as &#8220;Flinching Maiden&#8221;. Shooting a girl right in her big boobs or enormous butt will cause her to start flinching and she will temporarily be incapable of detecting you because she is so aroused; she is literally temporarily blinded by lust because you shot her so hard with your happy bullets right in her boobs. <em>Congratulations, we think.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Once you\u2019ve shot at a girl enough times and gathered enough mission information by scoping around for hidden objects in bins or cupboards, you\u2019ll enter a sort of boss phase \u2013 or Pacification \u2013 where the target undresses a bit and will start doing yoga or maybe pole-dancing in her room, because, as we all know, that\u2019s what girls do the minute you leave them on their own. Here, you need to focus fire on various parts of their bodies, causing them to become intensely aroused until they experience an enormous, and very noisy endorphin explosion, which is liable to have the police knocking your door down if you&#8217;ve got the TV volume up too loud. You\u2019ll then be rewarded with a bonus bath stage where you get to watch a girl take a bath and can win Picoins, which are also strewn about all over rooms during levels, and use them to purchase upgrades or special equipment such as x-ray vision which enables you to see through people\u2019s clothing at all times.<\/p>\n<aside class=\"picture embed\"><a title=\"Gun Gun Pixies Review - Screenshot 4 of 5\" href=\"http:\/\/images.nintendolife.com\/screenshots\/99218\/large.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/images.nintendolife.com\/screenshots\/99218\/900x.jpg\" alt=\"Gun Gun Pixies Review - Screenshot 4 of 5\"><\/a><\/aside>\n<p>Indeed, moving into the Deck section of the game\u2019s menu will allow you to upgrade various bits and pieces of your gear. You can also unlock lots of different underwear with your Picoins and we chose to grab a chocolate lingerie set, which was basically just splodges of chocolate covering delicate areas and not really something we would advise anyone try to wear as <em>actual<\/em> underwear. We also purchased another set called &#8220;Boing, Boing Happy Underwear&#8221; which we haven\u2019t got around to trying on yet.<\/p>\n<p>If all of this sounds like <em>exactly<\/em> the kind of thing you\u2019re down for then you should know that cutscenes tend to be laboriously long and tedious affairs and you never get to leave Lilypad, the dorm you\u2019re in, with all of the action taking place in three very similar and very bland bedrooms. Traversal is, as we mentioned, quite a bit of a pain due to clunky controls and the shooting just doesn\u2019t have any sort of satisfying feel or challenge to it. In reality, once you\u2019ve played about an hour of Gun Gun Pixies, you\u2019ve experienced all the gameplay elements it has to offer, with only the tiresome story remaining to keep you involved \u2013 alongside all that unlockable underwear, of course.<\/p>\n<aside class=\"picture embed\"><a title=\"Gun Gun Pixies Review - Screenshot 5 of 5\" href=\"http:\/\/images.nintendolife.com\/screenshots\/99223\/large.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/images.nintendolife.com\/screenshots\/99223\/900x.jpg\" alt=\"Gun Gun Pixies Review - Screenshot 5 of 5\"><\/a><\/aside>\n<p>The plot also tries at points to strike a strangely caring, well-meaning tone in having missions revolve around things like one of the girls having an eating disorder and existing entirely on diet gum. The other girls in the dorm worry for her and she eventually overcomes her eating problem through the magic of happy bullets being blasted at her breasts. It\u2019s a weird thing, trying to send some sort of message about not caring about your body image to the point of making yourself ill whilst at the same time existing <em>solely<\/em> to objectify bodies; it makes the whole thing even more of a colossal cringe-fest.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"conclusion\">\n<h2 class=\"heading\">Conclusion<\/h2>\n<p>Gun Gun Pixies is a <em>bad<\/em> game. It\u2019s a terrible third-person shooter, a clunky platformer and an incompetent visual novel, all wrapped up in an embarrassingly puerile attempt at titillation. Usually, this type of game can be saved somewhat by at least having some humour about itself or some level of self-awareness as to how bonkers or puerile it&#8217;s being, but Gun Gun Pixies can&#8217;t even manage that. It\u2019s hard to believe anyone would choose to offend themselves with this kind of thing but, if it is your bag, you should still be put off somewhat by the fact that everything it attempts to do, on a purely technical level, it does very badly indeed.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Originally released for PS Vita in Japan back in 2017, Gun Gun Pixies tells the story of two intergalactic hornballs, Kame Pon and Bee Tan, otherwise known as Pixie Team, who are sent to earth on a secret mission to observe the interactions of a bunch of teenage girls living in a dormitory. Pixie Team\u2019s [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-100284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nintendo-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/100284","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=100284"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/100284\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=100284"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=100284"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sickgaming.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=100284"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}